She was fierce, she was strong, she wasn’t simple. She was crazy and sometimes she barely slept. She always had something to say. She had flaws and that was ok. And when she was down, she got right back up. She was a beast in her own way, but one idea described her best.
She was unstoppable and she took anything she wanted with a smile.”
― R.M. Drake
It’s a funny thing. I have been thinking alot about it these past few months as my life has been transitioning. Why do some people have it, while others don’t? Where does it come from & can it be developed?
Change has never been easy for me, for sure; but for whatever reason after hanging out in complacency for the past few years my armor feels dented and cheap and I’m rusty in the ‘standing on my own two feet’ department. Today this is my truth.
I’ve come to the conculsion that change unfolds in three waves.
The disconnected first wave of drowning. You are in a new place, situation, job, reationship and are testing everything. This is a time to figure out your processes, what works and what doesn’t while looking for methods of efficiencies.
The second wave comes after you have fully resigned internally that the change has happened. You slowly stop the comparisons and crushing moments of hanging on to what was and really truly start to focus on what is ahead. This is the beginning of what I call the stretching period. This is an intentional time of settling and fitting in.
The third wave is silent. One day you will look up from your life and realize you are in it. It’s a happy moment of clarity, of recognition that you made it. What ever that thing was that impacted you, you survived it and not only have you survived but you are now thriving.
That horible no good, very bad year.
For me, the above is true.
In 500 characters or less. Over the past 12 months: I spent six of them working for a naracessis that made it their mission to rip up any shred of confidence I had into little bits of nothingness before I finally found the courage to boundary up and quit, I had a business investment flop. I changed jobs, moved home, trashed some technology, and had a fire in my kitchen. I walked with a family member while they were going through a personally difficult time & my best friend moved clear across the country. It was not a stretch to see that was a LOT.
I’m still standing. Better than. I’m bruised and battle worm but so be it. After making my peace, I’m dealing with it in a way that’s always been successful – by seeking the silver lining.
If I’m honest I’d say currently I am riding the second wave. I have completely come to terms with all of it and in my new surroundings am seeking the moments of solice.
I’m learning or relearning on the most basic level what makes me happy and what is going to help me to thrive.
One of the blessings in being a resilient person is in that you have the opportunity to reflect and grow. Being resilient often also means you are a very evolutionary thinker. You see the world a little different.
Challenges become opportunities for self improvement and when needed, direction changes. This is not to say you don’t have bad days – or in my case bad years but we know even in that frustrated place that WE ARE STILL IN CHARGE.
So remember, life is about balance. Up and down, peaks and valleys, glorious highs and devestating lows. It’s up to us to embrace our own resiliancy and to bring ourselves to a place of acceptance, to seek the silver lining messages and to act on the opportunities that will once again move this life forward.
One day if you trust in your own resiliancy, I assure you… You will look up and realize you are indeed riding your own third wave.
Words by Deanna Beaudoin