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Letting go: 100 days of Happy

In exactly 6 days we are going to take up a gratitude challenge. You may have heard about it or possibly noticed the “official” hashtag #100HappyDays? I like this one. Its light & positive. Simple. You can find loads of info on the official site.

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I like goals and tangibility. I dislike stuckness and bad energy. I really do believe that we are the harnessers of our destiny. We own our power. Choices are decisions. EVEN the negative ones.

Last year Miss D (co founder of this blog) beta tested a life hack initiative. She created a personal motivation system called 12×12. I love the perspective gained from using this opportunity as a tool. I witnessed her over coming many obstacles and learning a great deal about the kind of woman she really is. It was a fascinating process.

This makes me happy. I like goals and I also I like personal measurements. The 12×12 is an excellent way to stay focused and to be able to measure the gains and self knowledge.

This #100HappyDays isn’t so much about a focused change… more it’s simply a refresher. For all of us at Love Being Here this challenge is going to be a boost to our over all life direction with a side of self love.

We are going to LOOK for Happy & what I personally look forward too are the days I can’t see it – it will be here. I’ll have a measure in which I can look back upon.

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I have a story to share.

Do you know anyone that’s been chronically sick for a very long time?

After a while what I noticed based on my experience with a situation I have been closely observing… you don’t so much live with an “insert ailment” as live with it. You manage, cope, adjust to make room for this new way & after awhile a new normal has taken up and thats just the way it is.

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Eugenia a very close girlfriend of mine, like a sister really.

Eugenia is an amazing athlete, she lived her life participating in all sorts of ridiculous challenges, she loves running and for quite a long many years would get up at ungodly hours to do so.. it was her world.

Chasing sunsets & fields of dreams.

One day during a routine adventure last year, Eugenia got knocked on her ass by life. Eugenia who by this point in her life was fairly accustomed to pain, she was strong and it pushed her to be fearless and driven and wild and totally free. This was a different kind of pain. Something new and foreign.

For the next 6 months Eugenia battled her mind & her body. Fighting to reclaim her former life but making limited progress. One step forward two back. Her limits were  such that although mentally she felt invincible, her body just simply would. not. do.

With modification, Eugenia began a new life, she modified her world. Taking into account humbly most of the time that she IS Enough.. even though no longer much of an athlete.

Eugenia paints & writes, she took up a few off the radar lower impact sports.. Snow shoeing through the winter.. easy cross country bike rides.. alpine skate skiing. A good view is still incredibly motivating to her.

After awhile even the more sedentary activities began to draw out what little strength she had left and to further the tumble down the rabbit whole.. Eugenia began to loose her mental sharpness to which she so highly coveted. A word here or there, someones name, that time when… slowly her ability to puzzle began to slip away.

The culmination of the slow and deliberate slide down the rabbit happened on a Tuesday. One unremarkable Tuesday after lunch during a medium sized adventure.

Eugenia and her best activity partner were walking with little haste up a mountain… although she had been noticing the dizziness, the chills & the exhaustion, the moodiness and struggle for peace had been building for days; the fighter in her really isn’t or wasn’t all that prepared to quit. So on that single sunny Tuesday as the rays shone though the trees and the light snow reflected like thousands of tiny crystals she stopped in the midst of all that beauty and wept.

She. gave. up.. She wanted to give up.

Normal is an illusion, what is normal to the spider is chaos to the fly.

Eugenia recognized that she was no longer the spider but most definitely the fly. Her world was chaos and she was drowning trying to normal. 

Thankfully she has a supportive network around her, coaching, accepting, and caring for her. Quietly teasing out her fighter & helping to maximize her strengths. Sometimes having an accepting friend to walk with is more valuable than the most refined gold. Okay, not sometimes.. always.

It’s been an additional six months since that afternoon and much learning has gone on.  The main point learned though and really the point of Eugenia sharing her story.. was that in order for this lovely woman to begin to heal she first had to learn to accept her limits. She had to love herself personally, holistically, in her limitations and recognize that this current place in her life absolutely DOES NOT define her worth.

In our society there is this unspoken pressure to fit in but if you don’t quit fit into that relative box.. than what?

Unacceptable. What an unacceptable perception.

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As we take up this challenge: I will keep Eugenia’s story in my mind. I am not aiming for “happy” as in the unattainable perfection but happy, in the simple I love and accept what is. I love me, myself holistically, and I choose to seek moments of gratitude and joy. That’s the kind of happy I am looking for.

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words by | H. G. Yates | Newest in house Blogger here at LBH.

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